Wait.

For the past few weeks, I have been feeling so TIRED. So much is happening in my life, so many problems, storms, hurts, and just plain old LIFE. So what do I do?

I open my Bible to uplift me. But really I don't want to be uplifted.

All I hear from God, all the Bible tells me, all I hear at church, on the radio, on the Internet, from my mother, from everyone, is WAIT.

But I don't want to wait. I want relief now, and if I can't get it, I don't want to be uplifted. I want to wallow in my self pity. So what do I do?

I open my Bible. To Lamentations.

Now this is what I'm talking about, five whole chapters of straight up sorrow.

That is, until I get to Chapter 3. See, God will find a way for you to get what you need.

Lamentations 3 starts out with all the crying, of course, about what afflictions God has put on His people. (By the way, I use the New Living Translation most of the time, because I have Nu Life. Lol.)

1 I am the one who has seen the afflictions that
come from the rod of the Lord’s anger.

2 He has led me into
darkness, shutting out all light.

3 He has turned his hand against me again and again, all
day long.
4 He has made my skin and flesh grow old. He has broken my bones.

5 He has besieged and surrounded me with anguish and distress.

6 He has buried me in a dark
place, like those long dead.
7 He has walled me in, and I cannot escape. He
has bound me in heavy chains.

8 And though I cry and shout, he
has shut out my prayers.

9 He
has blocked my way with a high stone wall; he has made my road crooked.
10
He has hidden like a bear or a lion, waiting to attack me.

11
He has dragged me off the path and torn me in pieces, leaving me helpless and
devastated.

12 He has drawn
his bow and made me the target for his arrows.
13 He shot his arrows deep
into my heart.

14 My own people laugh at me. All day long they
sing their mocking songs.

15
He has filled me with bitterness and given me a bitter cup of sorrow to drink.
16 He has made me chew on gravel. He has rolled me in the dust.

17 Peace has been stripped away, and I have forgotten what
prosperity is.

I have felt like all of this! This is what I was feeling! All I see is darkness, no one to help me, my prayers go unheard, my own people laugh! But then, what does it say next?

19 The thought of my suffering and homelessness is
bitter beyond words.
20 I will never forget this awful time, as I
grieve over my loss.
21 Yet I
still dare to hope when I remember this:
22 The faithful love of the Lord
never ends! His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”
25 The Lord is good to those who depend on
him, to those who search for him.
26 So it is good to wait
quietly for salvation from the Lord.
27 And it is good
for people to submit at an early age to the yoke of his discipline:
28 Let
them sit alone in silence beneath the Lord’s demands.
29 Let them
lie face down in the dust, for there may be hope at last.
30 Let them turn the other cheek to those who strike
them and accept the insults of their enemies.
31 For no one is
abandoned by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief,
he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
33 For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them
sorrow.

What! But let me put this here, I like how it says it in the King James Version, verses 22-23: New mercies every morning! Anew! Fresh everyday is His mercies! That is when I just gave it up. I gave it all up to Him. Because He knows! He know what I am going through. He knows it all, my trials that will work great works and lessons in me. Then I read this, written by Silent Abandon blog:

Every day that we wake up is a new day. The sun has been made to rise again by God. New opportunities… new challenges… new decisions to make. Yesterday, although it has been important to us and shapes who we are - and we should on occasion listen to the voices of yesterday, yesterday is over and gone. Today. Today you have the chance to be who you wish to be… to right wrongs… to repent… to find your courage… to love your enemies… to finally fix that fence… to pray… to begin the habit of thankfulness and gratitude for the God who has made another day for you. Another day for you to make the day about Him.

In the middle of birth and death is today. Just as the verses of hope above are in the middle of the book of Lamentations. May we all find the guts to live today.

Then I read on.

37 Who can command things to happen without the
Lord’s permission?
38 Does not the Most High send both calamity and
good?
39 Then why should we, mere
humans, complain when we are punished for our sins?
40 Instead, let us test
and examine our ways. Let us turn back to the Lord.
41 Let us lift
our hearts and hands to God in heaven and say,
42 “We have sinned
and rebelled, and you have not forgiven us.

Why was I trying to do things and make them happen when God wasn't ready for them to? He knows everything under heaven and I didn't trust Him enough to know what was best for me. So ashamed. But guess what I'm doing now? Only a few of my situations have changed for the better. I am still tired. But I am not antsy. I'm waiting.

---Dove Sister DeAnna Rhodes---