phileo - Verb translated ‘kiss’, ‘love’ philia - Noun translated ‘friendship’
philadelphia translated ‘brotherly love’, ‘love of the brethren’
philadelphos translated ‘love as brethren’
philos translated ‘friend’ from which the above four words all originate
‘...the love of friendship’
In Christian circles we are so used to saying, “I love you,” to each other. When it comes to your special friends you have to add, “I love you very much.” The English language is very limited. In the Greek they could have said it very easily.
The New Testament uses phileo a lot; it tells us to phileo each other. Phileo speaks about friendship love that is established between various people. It is a very broad word and covers everything that has to do with the relationship of one person to another person with a friendly affection. It can even go to the extent of a friend that is closer than a brother. Phileo speaks of being endeared to someone, such as a nice acquaintance that you enjoy chatting with occassionally. Within the family there is storge love and phileo love. For example between a parent and a child: Dustin has storge love for his son, Daveon. As we learned before, storge is family affection. As the son grows up they become friends. So then Daveon could also say to his father, “I phileo you.” Dustin could also say to him, “I phileo you.” It speaks of those nearest and dearest sometimes without the relation of blood. This bond can be very strong and it’s easily mistaken for agape love. Philia will, at its worst, produce cliques and factions within a fellowship and exclude those who aren’t felt to be a part of the friendship circle. At its best, it will produce a bond between people that’s not easily broken, the best example of which in Scripture is probably the friendship that existed between David and Jonathan (I Samuel 18:1). It can also be between a husband and a wife. Between husband and wife they have more than storge love; they have eros love where they open themselves up to one another and move into a unity both of body and of soul.
And the same word phileo is the same word that has also been used to refer to how our Father loves Jesus Christ. We know that God loves Jesus Christ with agape love, but He loves Jesus with phileo love too. A friend is someone who stands along side you. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself is our friend. Yes, He is the King of Kings and He sits at the right hand of God all authority in heaven and earth and hell is in His hand. And yet He says, "I am your friend."
Of course you give respect where respect is due. You give honor where honor is due. Those of you who are in business know that it is one thing to have a business partner and yet another thing to have a business partner who is also your friend. It is one thing to work for the boss, but it is another thing when the boss is also your friend.
In Revelation 3:19 it’s used with God as the subject and man as the object, but it’s directed at those who are already ‘in Christ’. It’s said that God loves the disciples in John 16:27 and John 20:2 speaks of the disciple that Jesus ‘loved’ (in John 19:26, however, it’s agapao that’s used).
In each of these three occurrences, it refers to believers and it’s not used to denote God’s love in sending His Son into the world for fallen mankind, the ‘unsaved’. (That love is agape love.) This means that it's not just that He loves you because He created you; now He loves you because you have a personal relationship with Him. He KNOWS you, He likes you, He's endeared to you. Look at it like this: you love your little sister, but you do not have the best relationship. She annoys you, yet you still give her guidance and direction; you still look after her and would die for her. But your best friend, you chose to love him. You picked him out of everyone, got to know him, and LIKED him. You want to hang out with him, because he's just that cool.
KNOW THAT GOD CHOSE YOU TO NOT ONLY BE HIS CHILD, BUT TO BE HIS FRIEND.
sources
http://home.clara.net/arlev/loveofgod.htm
http://www.eaglevision.com.my/l13four.htm
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